When being VOCAL, choice is the hardest for me and it's rooted in my mindset towards teaching math.
Fundamentally, I acknowledge and recognize that there are multiple correct mathematical ways to approach and solve problems. Encouraging this in the classroom is so impactful for student growth. What makes this challenging is when students choose something I am not as familiar with. The first concept that comes to mind is factoring polynomials. Does anybody remember how they learned to factor? I learned the "guess and check" method or "trial and error" and it relied on understanding and recognizing patterns in numerical factors. When teaching factoring came up for the first time, my gut wanted to go with the way I was taught and what made sense to me. Fortunately, my mentor teacher showed me the "ac method" or "splitting the middle term" so I went with that to provide procedural steps... it was fortunate until students asked about the square method, the XBOX method, the fishing method, geez Louise there are so many methods and I had NO CLUE what they were talking about. I felt inadequate to support them in understanding why they got an answer wrong with a method I could not follow. At our district professional development today, we learned about this "new" concept called "accelerated learning" and "just-in-time interventions"... haven't we always tried to do this? With my content colleagues, we looked at a progression of area models and how they can be utilized from elementary math to precalculus. With experience, I have found articulating to students that their perspective and my perspective might be different but both are equally valid because we just have different backgrounds and experiences that have brought us to this place. We attempt to explain to each other the different methods of factoring, and then develop our voice through the process. When we can teach others the perspective that we see and they incorporate into their repertoire or we include their voice in our mental tool box, we build connections. We also build a sense of self-worth when we can collaborate and communicate our ideas to others that they adopt into their knowledge bases. There is meaning in multiple perspectives, because those multiple perspectives belong to individuals who are valuable and their life and experience matters. Giving students choice in how to articulate their perspective.
References
Mashup Math. (2017, March 29). Area Model Multiplication Explained! https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=MVZRD4Fa1OY
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I think it was around nine years old though that I experienced my first panic attack. I was in our big green van with my mom, going home after running errands, and suddenly, an elephant was sitting on my chest, and I was being internally crushed with no room to externally move. I could not breathe, I felt numb all over, and my mind went to the worst place possible – I am dying. Going through an intersection, my mom asked if I was okay and the moment passed.
At age ten, I remember playing in the living room with a plastic bag, acting like it was a parachute and jumping off the chair like a skydiver. Out of nowhere, a thought popped into my head: “there will be a day I am not a kid anymore and I do not get to play”. Even turning ten was traumatizing, because the realization that my age was DOUBLE DIGITS meant I was getting old, and my morality was quickly approaching. It reminds me of the first few lines of lyrics from Katy Perry's song, Firework.
Junior year of high school, I started experiencing extreme vertigo. The best way I could describe it… do you know how you can swirl water in a water bottle or blender around, stop, but the water keeps spinning like a tornado? That’s what vertigo feels like, the swirling water in your head when everything else is standing still. Telling my mom about this, I went to doctors and neurologists and endured MRI and EEGs to see if I had a tumor or was having seizures. The results? Nothing, nothing was wrong and thankfully the figurative water was not spilling out everywhere...
Senior year of high school is really when my symptoms started to rear their ugly heads. Working my entire life to be involved in the highest academic program in the district while managing cheerleading, band, and a plethora of other organizations and volunteer work, to then graduate in the top twenty students of the class of over 500 and just be done was overwhelming to say the least. Suicidal thoughts, unexplained moments of panic and extremely draining crying sessions, those became normal. In the summer between high school and college, I went to my mom and told her I thought I needed help. She understands now what I was going through to an extent, but at the time, she just told me it was normal to feel this way when being close to going off to college. Fortunately, that did not stop me from getting help. I went to my best friend’s mom, Lillie, and asked her to take me to a psychologist appointment, scrapping money together from birthdays and graduation gifts to pay without submitting insurance. There, the psychologist told me after one session that they thought I had been suffering from anxiety and depression since I was around eight but had been so busy that I became what we now call a person with “high-functioning anxiety” so now that I did not have much to keep me busy, the symptoms were surfacing because my brain had the capacity to play its tricks. With this diagnosis in hand, I went back to my mom and explained. From there, we came up with a plan together to get me the professional help I needed. Twice-a-week therapy sessions in college, combined with medication and the support of my family and friends, helped me work through the struggle, identify triggers, and learn how to cope healthily when experiencing anxiety and depression. Do I still experience triggers and symptoms of anxiety and depression? Absolutely! Nail biting will be a habit I do not see breaking any time soon (maybe I need a growth mindset on that...) but I have the resources, tools, and voice to speak up when I need help and advocate for myself without feeling selfish, stupid, or broken. This includes my support system: my mom (pictured on the left), my best friend who is now my husband Scott (pictured in the middle), and Lillie who is now my mother-in-law (pictured on the right), as well as my other friends and family. I had teachers who cared for me, absolutely, and they taught me so much more than the academic knowledge I took to college and beyond, but they also taught me other skills, now defined as 21st century skills. Occasionally teachers, like Ms. Patak, would check in with me, but there was not much emphasis in the educational system on addressing the non-academic needs. I do not even know who my counselor was in school because my class schedule was pretty much set from 6th grade through 12th. The only time I might have met with them is for scholarship applications and getting a transcript ready to submit in college applications. Now, in light of the pandemic, employing counselors that address academics as well as the social, emotional, and mental needs of students is being prioritized. With this shift in focus, students are being treated more like people and less like factory workers who we get to churn out a specific, monotonous set of tasks. The reason I am in education, my why, also connects to my journey in my mental health. My ePortfolio and blog posts are a continuously evolving exhibits in living museum of me, math, and more. Today, talking about mental health and sharing my journey, is another new addition open for others to explore and experience. What is your journey with mental health? May this be an encouragement for you to share your journey with others so we can all keep healing and growing together.
References
Basic Fun! (2023). K’NEX Ferris Wheel. https://www.basicfun.com/product/knex-thrill-rides-3-in-1-classic-amusement-park-building-set/
Katy Perry. (n.d.). AZQuotes.com. https://www.azquotes.com/quote/436551 Plante, C. (2016, May 5). This Is Fine creator explains the timelessness of his meme. The Verge; The Verge. https://www.theverge.com/2016/5/5/11592622/this-is-fine-meme-comic Sick Science! (2009, March 5). Tornado Tube - Vortex in a Bottle. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dv6vQU94wws
We live in a culture that is so driven by instantaneous results or responses that waiting for a fraction of a second longer than a blink of an eye is too long. When you text someone, if they don't reply in a minute or two, SOMETHING MUST HAVE HAPPENED. When you place an order on Amazon, if it cannot arrive three minutes ago, THIS IS A NIGHTMARE. When you have a structured settlement and you need cash now, CALL J.G. WENTWORTH.
Let's consider weight loss or a fitness goal. When we have routines to try and watch our weight or be healthier, the small growths don't always feel significant, especially if the way we measure the progress measures pounds and not ounces, minutes and not seconds, miles and not feet. Having one goal maintains focus and we can determine the small actions that add up over time. It's really how we expect our students to act, right? We tell them to keep practicing skills and slowly but surely, they will make improvements, have light bulb moments, and get the confidence to aim for a bigger goal! Why don't we do the same in society? Working on my four disciplines of execution and coming up with a wildly important goal requires thinking about lead versus lag measures, what is actually measurable, and dedicating the time to follow through with accountability towards achieving this wildly important goal. Slow and steady will have to win the race in an instant world. Something I have learned through my role as a student and an educator in the education system is the word "yet" does not mean that I am on the cusp of a dramatic change or extreme growth in a short period of time but rather an opportunity to grow in almost a miniscule way in the moment, but those moments add up.
References
Wentworth, J. G. (2019, January 29). J.G. Wentworth | Opera Bus 2019 | :60. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkORcziEx6g
I am still working on feedback though and my response to it. I accept all constructive feedback and prefer when people have suggestions or recommendations on how to proceed forward. Even prompting my thinking with questions helps. Typically though, others believe I am mad at them because I get upset, then the reality is I am upset with myself for not thinking of the ideas sooner.
This can be the same for our students. When a student has devoted a lot of time and energy from their perspective into solving a problem or completing a task, and then they get feedback on how to improve and adjust, their response is a reflection or deflection. When they reflect and understand intrinsically that it helps them learn and grow, the response comes out in a positive manner. When they deflect and the response comes out negatively, I am not sure it is because a student does not care, but they are building up a wall for some reason. Reflecting is uncomfortable, realizing that we could have been better in the past "if only we had done this before" is humbling, but our response to the feedback and having a growth mindset in which to receive and accept it makes it less uncomfortable. I tell students I ask they show their work so I can see their thinking... and then I add that usually if a student gets the wrong answer, it's not because they don't understand anything. It's because they maybe made an error in one small step. When we can identify those small places to improve, then it doesn't seem so daunting. This came from my 7th grade math teacher Mr. Fishpaw. He helped me realize that my errors came with switching positive and negative symbols every so often. Once I knew where my common mistake was, I could focus on that aspect and the rest would fall into place. Do I still make this mistake? Yes! Do I check over my work and take my time to check that I didn't make this common mistake of mine? Yes! Students often see wrong answers as complete failure but really it's small adjustments. When you are telling them what they did right, it removes that failure feeling and turns to small growth that adds up to big results. We should be intentional about leading students to this realization too... the destination always seems to be the emphasis, but really the journey is where we create lasting memories that impact our future. We get into a fixed mindset because we don't want to take risks... risk getting hurt, looking stupid, being judged negatively, etc. When others mess up, how often do we jump to give our "solutions" and think negatively? How awful does it feel when we are on the receiving end of this? There is not much more impactful than someone having grace when we mess up and acknowledge our human nature but then give us an opportunity to learn and grow. I say opportunity, because it is then up to us to seize it and produce the fruit of growth. Finding faith in feedback brings about belief in oneself to learn, grow, and improve every day. With the chaos that is the beginning of the school year, a new semester with my master's program, and everything else, my family has been going through some trials. My husband's grandmother, Poo Poo, has had a pretty big health scare in California. So significant, that my mother-in-law flew out to see her and my father-in-law followed a few days later after Scott and I picked up his brother, Jeffrey. Jeff has severe Down syndrome. He communicates with grunts, limited single syllable words such as yes and no, and his own sign language. While he does have some limitations, he is very intelligent. When I first met Jeff, he was the first person with special needs I had really interacted with, and the best advice I was given was to treat him like he is normal. Jeff and I have a very interesting relationship because of this advice. He has opportunities to be mentally enriched here and there, but his days often include endless YouTube videos of Barney and the Wiggles with meals mixed in. His autistic nature causes him to fixate on specific video clips and sounds within them, so he has ownership and choice over those aspects, navigating through the various channels at his own pace. This goes with what I am learning about applying digital learning in my classroom. Being VOCAL is something we should strive for in the classroom and I realized with Jeffrey being here, I also try to provide him other opportunities to have voice, ownership, and choice. The authentic learning for Jeff comes from doing the ordinary things most people do every day. Now, Jeff LOVES pizza. The first time I "Jeff-sat" when all of the family was out, I basically bribed my way into Jeff's heart the way the cliche goes for any man, through his stomach. He likes to constantly ask me for pizza with sign language and I like to try and sneak some vegetables into his diet. When we have pizza, building the pizza is part of our process. He consistently chooses to overload with pepperoni but the other veggies are placed as his own pace, wherever he chooses. When he is done, he will vocalize that. As the pizza is baking, we also make a salad. He had a number of choices but decided to stick with carrots, cucumbers, and tortilla chip strips. There was not any pressure to pick the others but he knew he had to choose something at whatever degree he wanted. This relates to my classroom because having voice, ownership, and choice in an authentic learning environment is inclusive. I choose to follow a vegan and gluten free diet, so my pizza was completely different than Jeff and Scott's pizza. My salad included a lot more vegetables and Scott chose to take what toppings were left. Even the order in which we ate our meals varied: I ate my salad, then the pizza. Scott ate his pizza, then the salad. Jeffrey picked off the veggies and pepperonis first, taking bites of salad in between. Being VOCAL is inclusive for all learners and in all contexts. We should look for more opportunities to embrace learning in different ways and on our terms. School only started two weeks ago, but I can already see how these six sources of influence are the key to really big picture growth. In this post, I want to focus on influence amongst my peers, rather than the influence I have on students.
Sometimes educators are described as "being stuck in their ways", but my team and I have already changed things up in our content structure, sequence, and pacing in the interest of reaching more students. We reflected and analyzed the past data, recognizing that some things worked okay, but others could work even more effectively. I foresee the biggest impact from the six sources of influence is social ability. My district is using a new learning management system, Canvas, and the math department has switched to using the Desmos calculator over TI-84s. I could go on for days about how much better Desmos is over a physical calculator, but what has really made the difference is when other teachers see the direct impact in their classrooms. Yes, there is a learning curve, but it's so much more intuitive than a TI-84 and more accessible for sure. Not only that, with the PSAT going online this fall and the SAT going online this spring, students consistently and intentionally practicing with the new tool is critical because these standardized tests open the opportunity for students to choose to go to college. Also, not only is the graphing calculator powerful, doing Desmos activities allows for exploring and quick checks for understanding and engages in 21st Century Skills through Experiences. This requires everyone to learn new technology components and not just for the sake of technology, but how to use the technology to facilitate meaningful learning opportunities for students. Having strength in numbers allows for those weary of these changes to see examples of what peers are trying and how they are adapting them after getting feedback from implementing these resources in the classroom. Starting there and expanding out to the social motivation and peer pressure, towards personal and then finally structural, is where my brain sees the most effective path. In fact, now the science department at my campus is trying Desmos!!! With more people trying new things and then feeling more confident in their ability, there's more change! Amongst my graduate classmates, social ability and motivation are commonly identified as the biggest impact - getting peer pressure involved and having power in numbers. What I fear will happen though is as the year progresses and we get more exhausted in all aspects, we will revert back to what we've done because it's easier and less time consuming. When things get tough, we follow our past habits because they require less mental energy. Right now, my "balls to the wall or not at all" motto is leaning towards "not at all" because it feels very overwhelming to have to consider all six sources of influence. What I have decided is that social ability can be enough for now and start to incorporate other sources of influence along the way. Reflecting requires an analysis of oneself and holding ourselves accountable for our actions. These actions come from our beliefs. Self-questioning is not about full self-doubt and inadequacy. It is truly about knowing we did alright for now, but what more could we accomplish? Reading about growth mindsets and learning, I found Dr. Jackie Gerstein and an infographic she created for her college students. As a professional, I plan on starting to consider the answers to these questions as I navigate the school year as a colleague, a leader within the content team, a leader within the department, and a facilitator at the district level. If I answer "yes", I will move to the next question, and continue through until I hit a "no". Reflecting and asking myself why I am saying no will be critical at progressing forward next time. After being intentional about engaging with these questions and reflecting on the no's, I am considering tracking my progress and identifying which scenarios do I find myself stuck and on which question. Then, collaborate with peers and mentors about what I could do for the future. As a teacher, I wonder what these questions would look like for my high school students. What about for middle school or elementary students? What about for parents or guardians? Even now as I ask questions, I am engaging in reflection through self-questioning. It is up to me to finding the answers or seeking the support to walk along side me and discover them together. References Gerstein, J. (2015, September 4). Is “Have a Growth Mindset” the New “Just Say No.” User Generated Education. https://usergeneratededucation.wordpress.com/2015/09/04/is-have-a-growth-mindset-the-new-just-say-no/
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My husband lovingly teases me when I reflect on my day with him and say "I learned something new today!" because he would be surprised if I didn't learn something new.
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