In the blink of an eye, my second term of my master’s is coming to a close. We just started the semester right? The accelerated program definitely feels accelerated… Fortunately, what is really working well has been maintaining the collaborative group I met this summer, but our approach to collaboration shifted once the school year started. Amanda, Hillary, Lindsay, and myself, along with Mikeela and Samantha, have drastically different schedules and family lives, so we found ourselves texting each other encouraging, and sometimes witty messages, as we struggled balancing all of the obligations of our jobs, our families, our Leading Organization Change class, as well as the Growth Mindset course. We found stability in dividing and conquering some of the reading, summarizing what we have read in a shared document, and providing feedback to blog posts and assignment pages when needed in Zoom meetings. Through our collaboration too, we often delegated who was the “leader” in that particular assignment or phase because we knew that week-to-week, someone would be a little less active in the collaboration due to other components of life… which includes…. when I got sick with the flu the first weekend of September and fell behind in my coursework. There were nights when the readings, assignments, videos and discussions were on the bottom of my list because it was necessary for me to take care of my physical well-being first. Part of the reason I became so quickly incapacitated was my struggle with time management. My body rapidly decided I need to stop for a moment. Balancing my different roles, such as campus Algebra 2 team leader, campus department leader, district national merit preparation program facilitator, along with wife, friend, daughter, was overwhelming but really I am partially to blame. My inner-procrastinator came out, and even though I know procrastination is a fight-or-flight response (check out this article from Psychology Today), this little bird wanted to desperately take flight. Recognizing where I have been and how far I have come in my journey, including my mental health journey, brought into perspective that we exist in ebbs and flows, and it is okay to be at a low as long as you do not settle there and dwell in the pit. Considering my why and how I want to be a butterfly, I did not let these setbacks stop me from moving forward one small step at a time. Even if I did not always participate in the discussion boards during the appropriate weeks, at least twice a week I go into the boards and read what others have written. I would reply when I feel as though my perspective would add value to the conversation or when I think words of affirmation or gratitude would support the growth of others. This rang true in our weekly class meetings and discussions, speaking up to engage in conversation, individually messaging people with ideas and feedback, etc. These intentional actions led me to consistently be one of the top contributors to the discussion boards and breakout rooms. This also established a routine for me of revising assignments or blog posts to incorporate my new learning and connections after revisiting discussions or other people’s ePortfolios. All of my posts and replies are very authentic and genuinely driven by my desire to connect with people and encourage others to do the same. Ironically, the only discussion board that I did not directly engage in was the networking discussion because I felt as though the list I would create would not be true to my actual engagement with them. The groups I engage with the most frequently are not necessarily formal because I do not have the capacity to devote any more time or energy into another thing that would only be done to satisfy an assignment requirement. Ultimately, the course on growth mindset has helped me see growth mindset in growth mindset... life and the whirlwind can take over but once the storm clears and the rainbow comes, we can keep moving forward together. While I did not reach my fullest potential, I would give myself a 95/100 to my contributions to learning in my Growth Mindset course. Now that I have experienced the beginning of the school year in addition to late nights completing my master’s program, I am back on track ready to keep learning, growing, improving, and being the best I can be each day. References Tarnowski, D. (2023, September 13). Instagram. Www.instagram.com. https://www.instagram.com/p/CxIuYEhuRul/?hl=en
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Scott, my sister-in-law Stephanie, and I just got back from a trip to Disney World. We had an absolute blast, each getting to achieve our goals. Scott's Goals: Visit Galaxy's Edge. He wanted to go live the Star Wars dream and build a lightsaber, as well as ride in the Millennium Falcon. A bonus was meeting Din Djarin and Grogu. Here are some pictures from our days in Batuu. This is the way. Stephanie's Goals: Visit Toy Story Land, meet Lilo, meet Mulan, and eat around the world. While she loves the aliens and we had fun riding the Slinky Dog roller coaster, the "best day of her life" was eating at the Polynesian and meeting Lilo and Stitch, then traveling to China and meeting Mulan. Eating around the world took some pacing. Here's a collection of pictures from Andy's backyard, Hawaii, and China. Ohana means family. My Goals: Visit Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade and ride as many roller coasters as possible. Now, I know the Wizarding World is not technically Disney, but it is still magical right? I was on the verge of crying a few times being so happy living in a book. It was also fun getting the adrenaline high. Scott and Stephanie ride the milder roller coasters, but I am all for the biggest, fastest, craziest, usually spending the entire ride giggling and clapping. My hair definitely demonstrated the wild factor. Here's a snapshot of some of my time in London and after the thrills. I solemnly swear I am up to no good. Mischief managed. Times like this recharge me for the upcoming school year. There can be so much to do in one day and the order in which you go through the motions really depends on your choices. We balanced spending time taking care of our individual goals, but also staying together and finding experiences we all would enjoy and part of that came from seeing the joy in each other when we got to experience our dreams. Some of Disney's taglines are the happiest place on earth or the most magical place on earth, but there are always times when it doesn't feel that way... especially when it was as hot as it was. It makes cherishing the simple things, like a water fountain or a tree's shade, very easy. Our classrooms have magical moments, but what if we created a different kind of magic? I am not saying our classrooms need to be Disney World but there are some things we can take away from how the parks operate and the experiences we get from them that we could incorporate into our routines, structures, and lessons. What if our learners could decide the order of their different lessons or activities? What if they could pick when to take breaks and for how long? What if we created efficiencies that took away potential misbehavior and redirected them into more positive choices? What if we embraced individual goals and collective ones, giving learners the capacity to enjoy the rewards of achieving all goals?
There is still a little less than a month until the school year starts and I am choosing to hold onto this much needed break for as long as possible, but this trip has been a nice transition from summer to the beginnings of a new school year. I am looking forward to embracing a different kind of magic in my classroom. It does not do well to dwell on dreams and forget to live.
Have you ever done something that your heart would not necessarily choose but your head knows it's good for your overall health and wellbeing? Here are some examples:
I am overall a relatively physically healthy person, but that does not make me immune to a constant battle between head and heart, especially when it comes to the added layer of anxiety. My heart knows there's no reason to be stressed out, but my head asks are you sure about that? Being an educator has helped me to learn how to balance the relationship between head and heart and I found it to be a lot like running. I HATE running and it's probably because I am really bad at it. It feels like I've been running for days, only to look down at my Fitbit and see it's been 2 minutes and 43 seconds. Each lap around a track seems longer than the last and if my pacing is faster than 11 minutes per mile, WOW it's time for a reward of Taco Bell for dinner. There's an inevitable recursive cycle that happens; I hate running because I am bad at it, so I don't run often and because I don't run often, I am bad at it, which makes me hate it more. Now I am not saying I hate education. On the contrary, I deeply love it because it is my passion and one of my life's purposes, but it is a lot like running and the battle between my heart and my head when it comes to the activity. There are days when a part of me just wants to give in to the frustration a student has when they don't quite understand a concept yet and just give them the answer, but the other part of me knows that purposeful struggle is necessary for true growth. Part of me wants to just stop enforcing inappropriate cellphone usage and just let them Snapchat and Instagram and TikTok time away until the bell rings, but the other part of me knows that as the adult and the facilitator, I have to provide structure for them to see benefits in putting the devices away or structure for them to not have an opportunity to "be bored". I'm sure you have scenarios you can think of based on your experience. On days I run, it usually does not start off with a true heart and head desire to knock out a few miles. A lot of the times, it comes with discipline, knowing that as soon as I get started, I will not regret the choice I made to follow through. The rewards from the temporary pain are small when individually assessed, but 1% daily growth is huge over time versus 1% daily decline. This comes from James Clear, the author of Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones, a book that I plan on reading in its entirety as part of my educational journey but have stumbled across excerpts of. Education can be a lot like running. You could consider each class period a sprint, each day a 5K, each week a 10K, each year a marathon, your career an ultra. If we keep putting one foot in front of the other, being disciplined enough to tell our heads to push through when the heart is conflicted, we can be so much stronger. Eventually, our hearts start to catch up, beating faster and sustaining the rhythm as it becomes accustom to the situation. Balancing the heart and the head simply takes experience and adaptation while also recognizing some days are better or worse than others and that has to be okay. Something my Lee family and I would do together is watch reruns of Law and Order SVU on the weekends and for some reason, my sister-in-law Stephanie, my husband Scott, and I latched onto a line when Elliot Stabler yells "we got a runner!". I couldn't find a specific clip of this, but this scene from Reno 911 feels more accurate for education at times... We have to keep running so that our lives can be examples to others of what balance between the head and the heart looks like. We should make sure we are taking care of ourselves so we can take care of others. Are we perfect? Absolutely not, but we can keep making those small gains every day, reflect back, and be in awe of what we are truly capable of. Also, if we run together, we can pull people into this race and motivate each other to keep going. What are some things you've done that your heart and head have been in conflict over? What did you learn from those? Do we have a runner in you?
References
Clear, J. (2015). How to Master the Art of Continuous Improvement. James Clear. https://jamesclear.com/continuous-improvement
Eric. (2012). WE GOT A RUNNER! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIrkI43NIIU Tim Robinson “You Sure About That” Green Screen. (2023, April 12). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ZOIpsxfzxw After the holiday weekend and spending time with my in-laws, I loaded my computer for the first time in a few days, knowing exactly what my next post would be about. During the school year, I am balls to the wall. Summer for me is a lot of the not at all part of the phrase. Just to make sure I wasn't completely delusional, I turned to my husband for validation. Here's the exchange that happened maybe 45 seconds ago. Ashley: If you could give my life a motto, what would it be? Scott: Balls to the wall or not at all. There's a nice ring to it, and Scott has known me well enough over the past almost two decades which zone I am in at any given moment. Balls to the wall could be replaced with full throttle or pedal to the medal or full steam ahead and most people would understand those references right? Cars going really fast or even trains, but where in the world did balls to the wall come from? I learned something new today. Balls to the wall probably comes from aviation. In a pilot's cockpit, the throttle levers had ball-shaped grips and in order to go to top speeds, they had to push the lever towards what is considered the firewall (Sheidlower, 2006). There are inevitably arguments made that this leads to burnout and I assure you I have experienced phases of burnout throughout my life, not just as an educator. But what I am also learning is that through my different stages of the year, my life cannot be balls to the wall or not at all for everything at the same time, but I can incorporate some aspects of one zone in certain areas and other aspects of the other zone in other areas. For example, right now, I am balls to the wall when it comes to reading romantic comedies through Kindle Unlimited. I am not at all with making lesson plans. I am balls to the wall during Zumba, not at all when cooking (takeout for me please!). When considering incorporating blended learning in my classroom, I have to keep in mind that it cannot be 100% one or the other aspect of my life motto. There has to be balance. Some days there will be station rotations, some days not. Some days, there will be collaboration, others will have reflection and feedback, and some days will be a traditional pencil and paper assessment. If I were to go balls to the wall with the blended learning environment, burnout is inevitable. What is your life motto? References Sheidlower, J. (2006, February 10). Balls in the Air. Slate. https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2006/02/why-we-say-balls-to-the-wall.html#:~:text=So%2C%20literally%20pushing%20the%20balls
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My husband lovingly teases me when I reflect on my day with him and say "I learned something new today!" because he would be surprised if I didn't learn something new.
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