Being human is what sets us apart from any other creature or entity and that means incorporating head and heart in everything. We don't want to be Tin Man or Scarecrow... we don't want to be a robot with no heart or a sweet golden retriever with no brain... we need to involve both aspects of our human nature, where the head and heart meet.
It honestly reminds me of servant leadership. As a believer, I think about the story of Jesus in the boat with the disciples in the middle of the squall. The disciples were in PANIC MODE thinking the boat would sink. The story's focus was that Jesus was peacefully asleep, then simply woke up, calmed the wind and waves, and asked his friends why they were afraid. He is perfect at recognizing our hearts but also leading us to realize the truth in every situation if we just listen. How many times have we felt like we were on a sinking ship, surrounded by a monsoon, and someone leads us to the calm waters? They don't discredit our emotions; they acknowledge them but also guide us to understand the balance between our emotions and the rational aspects of the situation. The book Crucial Conversations establishes seven steps to address those heated, passionate moments when an action or end goal is required to move forward. Watching this video really helped solidify what I read. After exploring more resources about Crucial Conversations, including additional blog posts or discussion boards, I decided to take their "What's Your Style Under Stress?" assessment. The results were not too surprising, but they did give me direction on what to do next. Scores of zero are the focus.
These are from the newest edition in their book, but moving to action is without a doubt something I need to work on. All of these conversations with peers, students, administration can happen but with no action to move forward, no goals being set, it is another fruitless conversation. We can have all the best intentions but Jordan Belfort, author of The Wolf of Wall Street, said it best: "Without action, the best intentions in the world are nothing more than that: intentions" (Belfort, 2013). My type A personality does not make me shy away from being direct in the moment, removing emotions when discussing facts and not letting my emotions cloud the situation. The reflective component of my nature allows me to consider how these ideas and feelings impact me directly, but there needs to be intentional action on my part as a self-differentiated leader to conclude the conversations with actionable items. I have visited the YouTube channel, Therapy in a Nutshell, for a number of topics, including Classroom Culture - Ask or Guess?, and her book review on Crucial Conversations really supported the necessity for harmony between sentiments and actions. Moving to action with students is much easier for me than with adults because I know that students are still building capacity to independently think and self-regulate emotions, so I have to be the level-headed person during the tough conversation. Moving to action with adults is more challenging, because it is harder for me to recognize that not everyone is at the same reflective or emotional level I am (I learned a lot through my mental health journey, but others may not have had one yet) and it makes it difficult to empathize. Getting outside of my comfort zone to push my innovation plan forward will be one of many reasons why in a year or two, I will look back and feel like I really made a difference.
References
Belfort, J. (2013). The wolf of wall street. Bantam Books.
Callibrain. (2015, August 20). Video review for crucial conversations by Kerry Patterson. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFaXx3pgaxM&ab_channel=Callibrain Grenny, J., Patterson, K., McMillan, R., Switzler, A., & Gregory, E. (2022). Crucial conversations : Tools for talking when stakes are high (Third). McGraw-Hill. Therapy in a Nutshell. (2019, August 22). Crucial conversations book summary: How to make it safe to talk about anything. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrfjYwY5SSE&ab_channel=TherapyinaNutshell
0 Comments
|
My husband lovingly teases me when I reflect on my day with him and say "I learned something new today!" because he would be surprised if I didn't learn something new.
This blog is a collection of the new things I learn along the way. Categories
All
Archives
May 2024
|