When I first applied to the Applied Digital Learning (ADL) program, I genuinely thought this would be a walk in the park, breezing through the content in a few weekends, taking any assessments, and having the rest of the time to relax. I would follow what seemed to be the easiest path to learning some information, regurgitating it in assignments and tests, and walking across the graduation stage with a master’s degree, ready to change the world. I now know how naive that perspective was but how grateful I am to be wrong. It was apparent from my first course in ePortfolios that choice, ownership, and voice through authentic learning environments (COVA) would be something I would experience firsthand (Harapnuik et al., 2018). It did not take me long to be VOCAL and embrace the COVA approach despite the discomfort. Looking through all of the examples and suggestions on how to build an ePortfolio, I was overwhelmed with the abundance of options within a number of blogging websites for layouts, fonts, and colors that I would have to choose from to represent my brand, my spirit, and my passion for education. I quickly realized my use of language, pictures, and videos would help me be vibrant and share my love of teaching. I even wrote about my path in building my ePortfolio a few times early on... ePortfolios - GenuineLee Me, ePortfolios - GenuineLee Me Pt. 2, and Exploring Worlds through ePortfolios. Getting feedback that did not address my lack of color but really about the content supported my understanding that I genuinely had choice, ownership, and voice over my products and even the process to building them. The initial shock of the program being the exact opposite of what I had anticipated wore off pretty quickly, but that also is likely due in large part to being a life-long learner (see my post on the Living Museum of Me, Math, and More). I figured out quickly that this program is the antithesis of my previous experience as a student, which initially was overwhelming. Freedom and responsibility for my learning means making more decisions on top of the numerous other decision I make daily as a teacher, leader, wife, dog mom, and friend. Embracing the challenges and discomfort of freedom has nurtured substantial personal growth than a factory model program I expected. One decision I am beyond thankful I made was taking ownership and tackling everything head on, including forming a collaborative group. Finding others as eager as me meant looking at discussion boards, actively engaging in breakout rooms during class meetings, and being bold to initiate the awkward conversation of “hey, do you want to be in my collaborative group?”. This actually reinforced my confidence in my own voice. I have always had a strong opinionated voice and being more confident and comfortable in my own skin came out of my mental health journey (one which I am still very firmly on...). What this program is helping me to do is to speak more boldly at school. My innovation plan, Teaching 21st Century Skills in a Blended Learning Environment, is very authentic but has evolved into one that utilizes Building Thinking Classrooms by Peter Liljedahl to provide opportunities for students to use 21st century skills. First semester, I did little to nothing regarding my innovation plan with the exception to telling colleagues about it in the first week back to school. The challenge has really been about how to articulate my plans effectively in my organization and acquire the support I feel I need to bring people alongside me in my innovation plan to help me be intentional and consistent in my work. As we learned about how to influence people by identifying vital behaviors in my big picture growth and catering to the six sources of influence, motivation, and ability in the personal, social, and structural categories (Grenny, 2013), as well as Covey’s four disciplines of execution in my big picture goals, (Covey et al., 2018), realized why I was ineffective in gaining traction from the beginning of the school year, essentially abandoning my notion of change in the fall semester. Even if I had gotten others invested in my ideas and dreams, the whirlwind got in the way, and I did not focus on my big audacious goals. My goal, like most teachers lately, became to survive. Lately though, it has become overwhelmingly clear that the work is hard, but necessary and I should not let obstacles or fixed mindsets hold me back. My innovation plan was not just created to get through the course work; I really hope to change my organization from inside out, starting in my classroom and working out in waves across my content team, department, campus, and district. One major change that I desire to bring is actually utilizing COVA and creating significant learning environments in the math classroom. The analytical logical person I am finds comfort in the cognitivist mindset within my learning philosophy, building connections between what I know and what I am learning to weave everything into the existing web of information, but the ADL program has evolved my perspective into a blend of cognitivism and constructivism. If I cannot find a connection, I ask questions and search for my own answers, making and creating new connections. Another way I fuse these viewpoints together is through my writing and the use of analogies. They help me to create a picture of what my brain visualizes and understands to be true, attempting to articulate that viewpoint to others also have their own unique perspective and internal philosophies. With this new viewpoint of the importance and necessity of COVA and CSLE, I am empowered to make decisions that disrupt the comfort of students, parents, colleagues , and administration with purpose, to engage students in deeper learning than they have probably ever experienced inside the walls of a classroom. My campus has a legacy of high achievement in the state and nation, so changing the pedagogy that produced those results seems ridiculous. Why fix what does not seem broken? If it worked before, it should work now, right? Realistically, because our society has evolved exponentially over the past decade, we cannot continue implementing past practices in a future world. Disturbing the sense of order is daunting because it directly impacts others and their sense of comfort and safety in what they feel should be normal. Going through this program though has immersed me in the environment I know I need to build for my students. Having lived the life of a learner breaking out of my comfort zone of regurgitating information on an assessment and into a world of connections and creation, it is inspiring me to really consider the possibility of what might come out of doing this in a mathematics classroom. Conflict will inevitably arise from developing an expectation that what was once the norm is now in the past is scary, because it will be, at times, exhausting to manage the combatting side. It will definitely require me to be even stronger in my conviction that COVA and CSLE need to happen now and not later, breaking the chains my current setting has me in. If we want to maintain the legacy of high achievement, we must evolve with society to reach these new heights. I will start by bringing in other members of my content team to come beside me and learn by implementing innovative plans together. I will use the knowledge and resources I have built within the structures I have learned about in the ADL program to develop professional learning that models the blended learning environments we should be creating, providing those attending a glimpse into what our students’ realities could be. I need to be intentional about what I am doing and why. Explicitly sharing the reasoning behind my actions can obtain buy-in and continuously reiterating this rationale throughout the year will only emphasize its importance to me. It is challenging still for me to consider what choice, ownership, and voice looks like in a math classroom bounded by state objectives, grading guidelines, and standardized tests. In a subject where the question usually leads to one correct answer, being intentional about questioning that requires open-ended responses and can lead to multiple answers and even more questions will take work, time, and energy. Current available resources like this are few and far between. Also, the control aspect of the classroom is why teachers, specifically math teachers, tend to stick with the factory model. Math logic is “always” true but when computers can run calculations, we are essentially training our students to also be computers cranking through calculations rather than making connections. Students have been subconsciously conditioned to expect this from a math classroom, which is why my innovation plan and Building Thinking Classrooms principles are so troublesome for a lot of people. I can already hear the complains in questions:
Nobody will argue that 21st century skills are vital to one’s future and society’s survival, but the learning environment needed to facilitate acquiring and refining these skills does not meet the norm. Again, I need to be intentional about what I am doing and why. Explicitly sharing the reasoning behind my actions can obtain buy-in and continuously reiterating this rationale throughout the year will only emphasize its importance to me. Being transparent in my purpose will begin building a culture of trust and collaboration, encouraging students to take risks and explore in their learning. To incorporate COVA, I must provide opportunities for students to have choice, ownership and voice.
As I include these opportunities in the classroom, I can use strategies I have learned about action research to determine the impact of specific structures and share my findings with colleagues to further enrich the work they are doing in their classrooms. Applying effective structures and strategies within professional learning and reinforcing their effectiveness by including my findings will further develop the same culture of taking risks and exploring ideas I hope for in my classroom. If you had told me a year ago that this is where I would be, after ten years of experience in the classroom, ready to start again like a first-year teacher by finding my groove and establishing what my classroom looks, sounds, and acts like with the COVA approach to create a significant learning environment, I would likely say you are nuts. But let’s go crazy and change the world. References Covey, S., McChesney, C., & Huling, J. (2018). 4 Disciplines Of Execution. Simon & Schuster Ltd.
Grenny, J. (2013). Influencer : The new science of leading change. Mcgraw-Hill Education. Harapnuik, D., Thibodeaux, T., & Cummings, C. (2018). Choice, Ownership, and Voice through Authentic Learning. Creative Commons License. Liljedahl, P. (n.d.). Building thinking classrooms. Building Thinking Classrooms. https://buildingthinkingclassrooms.com/ Liljedahl, P. (2021). Building thinking classrooms in mathematics, grades K-12: 14 teaching practices for... enhancing learning. Sage Publications Inc.
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When I first imagined my experience in graduate school, I envisioned reading and regurgitating content and theories alongside systematically following procedural assignments that would teach me educational technology tools to create textbook-like curriculum and lessons. I planned on going through the motions of school and coming out on the other side with a degree that earns me a few more dollars per paycheck and enhances my resume for future education endeavors. Man, I was wrong.
This false sense of reality mirrors my initial expectations of being a teacher in the classroom. I thought I would design and implement lessons that I could continuously recycle year after year, going through the motions of teaching. Professional development might teach me a thing or two that I can bring back to the classroom that would support me changing the lives of my students in the process. Never did I dream that I would be at this point in my life and career, finding myself learning and growing more through experience, trial and error, and collaborative communities that emphasize continuous reflection and adaptation. If you ask me to talk about my journey through life, in and out of school, I likely would not know where to start. It would inevitably be a brain dump of information seemingly disconnected from one idea to the next... but it makes sense in my mind. The only person who loves me enough to tolerate this chaos besides Jesus is my husband Scott. Most of the time, I sense I scare people... Writing and developing my voice to connect the analytical, cognitive side of my perspective to my free-flowing emotional sand spiritual side allows me to take my word vomit ideas and cohesively pain a picture others can view, and hopefully appreciate and be inspired by, to take their own artistry of education and life further. The procedural process of brainstorming ideas, creating an outline, drafting an article, and revising and editing the work based on an abundance of feedback from different perspectives has led me on a voyage to building my courage and bravery to speak louder than my current volume to a larger audience than my collaborative group, my family, and my tight knit community of colleagues at my campus. Promoting my publication through podcasting was definitely a new level of learning too as I relied heavily on my classmates' strengths to create a quality product. Documenting my experience from the burnout (we all need a break) and defeat of student disengagement and lack of student thinking to the renewal of my faith in the future by providing students opportunities to build 21st century skills in a blended learning environment through the lens of mathematics and trying practices from Building Thinking Classrooms by Peter Liljedahl has increased my confidence that my vulnerability will inspire other teachers like me to continue to dream big for our students. I hope to publish at Texas Council of Teachers of Mathematics or National Council of Teachers in Mathematics to expand my community further and speak to other like-minded professionals eager to set sail into the reality of our education future and not the delusion or mirage, figments of our imagination as to what we thought education is. The whole writing process is just what we expect out of our students as we guide them not only to learn our content but also learn to be lifelong learners, continuously evolving, not just going through the mundane motions of life but thrive in adventure and possibility. The work of learning is never done and the journey has more value and fulfillment than any checkpoint or destination. Because of publication consideration requirements, I cannot post my products I created throughout this cycle. However, I do look forward to blogging some day soon with a celebration of formal publication and linking to an official professional website, but in the meantime, keep learning something new every day. I know I am.
References
Conspiracy Charlie Day GIF - conspiracy Charlie Day crazy - discover & share gifs. (n.d.). Tenor.com. https://tenor.com/view/conspiracy-charlie-day-crazy-always-sunny-in-philadelphia-qanon-gif-23738584
Just because I am a mathematics teacher does not mean I dislike reading and writing. In fact, I remember as a young student, one of my dreams was to be an author and illustrator because escaping into stories opened up the universe in the palms of my hands and I wanted to be a part of that creation. As my education progressed, my writing developed from a fictional foundation to analytical in a variety of subjects:
My learning philosophy is rooted in Jean Piaget’s cognitivist theory, identifying and applying patterns and my experience has strengthened my ability to connect the abstract with vivid imagery as I build particular connections between seemingly unrelated ideas. Just the other day, a student was struggling with remembering how to square a binomial. She kept distributing the square to the terms rather than distributing the terms to each other. I tried showing her a numerical example, yet every time I checked in with her progress, she kept making the same mistake. This simple conversation changed everything.
Mrs. Lee: "You are in wrestling right? How many shoulders do you have to pin to win?" Student, smiling: "Two." Mrs. Lee: "Think of these squared binomials like shoulders, you have to pin both down to win the match, so write both of them to pin them down." That stuck. All I have to do now is walk by and say PIN THEM DOWN, she smiles and builds her confidence in her math abilities. I find myself making analogies, similes, and metaphors constantly to connect the abstract to the concrete for my students and the same is true for my writing. As I have strengthened my voice through my master's program, I am finding myself being bolder with my writing in the sense of sharing my story and journey through life and education with a balance between the creative components of writing and the analytical side. One of my assignments is writing with the intention to submit the work for publication. Some considerations for publications I have found include:
All of these publications have stated that the use of AI is discouraged but if it is used, it needs to be explicitly mentioned. Most require a short biography as well as evidence of other publications. The documents need to be in Word with APA references. Submissions are done via email or directly on the publication website. My writing can go in a variety of directions and with so many options, if rejected, I will adapt writing to meet other publication requirements and needs, but the Texas Council of Teachers of Mathematics Call for Voices from the Classroom fits nicely in my big picture. Thus, I began with an outline and started writing a rough draft about my journey in transforming my mathematics classroom from the past to the future with the practices of Building Thinking Classrooms to build 21st century skills. My Community in Collaboration is diverse, as we serve in a wide range of roles in education, so encouraging each other and providing valuable feedback/feedforward meant establishing a rubric that could easily apply to our various topics and writing approaches. When creating rubrics for students, I have used RubiStar but after exploring ChatGPT, I used AI to generate a rubric for a publication in education. With some adjustments and review from my group, we agreed upon the categories and their breakdown into components and points. These included overall content, organization and structure, writing style and clarity, evidence and support, critical thinking and reflection, and conclusion and implications Not only did we provide comments in each other's rough drafts with all sorts of fixes, adjustments, and considerations, we filled in our rubrics with points and overall feedback/feedforward. Part of the requirements for publication submission is not publishing your work anywhere else, so it would not be appropriate for me to post my rough draft here but you can get a sense of my work from my rough draft peer assessment. Overall, the feedback/feedforward I received validated my perspective but provided meaningful insight on how to enhance it, including fixes to some grammar and punctation, suggestions on how to rephrase ideas to be succinct, and recommendations to bring in more research and literature. The average score I received was a 48.94/50 and honestly, I think my group was generous. Because my imagination and connections are wild and widespread, I tend to be verbose and add unnecessary detail so my clarity can improve. There is also opportunity for me to add more research beyond my classroom setting to demonstrate that my journey is not a fluke but a reality many can experience in their own classroom. Moving forward, I am going to be even bolder and seek feedback from peers at my campus and the district who do not know the context of the graduate school assignment to receive a more comprehensive review of my work. Maybe I will fulfill a childhood dream of being an author in a way I could have neve imagined and be an official published writer!
I think it was around nine years old though that I experienced my first panic attack. I was in our big green van with my mom, going home after running errands, and suddenly, an elephant was sitting on my chest, and I was being internally crushed with no room to externally move. I could not breathe, I felt numb all over, and my mind went to the worst place possible – I am dying. Going through an intersection, my mom asked if I was okay and the moment passed.
At age ten, I remember playing in the living room with a plastic bag, acting like it was a parachute and jumping off the chair like a skydiver. Out of nowhere, a thought popped into my head: “there will be a day I am not a kid anymore and I do not get to play”. Even turning ten was traumatizing, because the realization that my age was DOUBLE DIGITS meant I was getting old, and my morality was quickly approaching. It reminds me of the first few lines of lyrics from Katy Perry's song, Firework.
Junior year of high school, I started experiencing extreme vertigo. The best way I could describe it… do you know how you can swirl water in a water bottle or blender around, stop, but the water keeps spinning like a tornado? That’s what vertigo feels like, the swirling water in your head when everything else is standing still. Telling my mom about this, I went to doctors and neurologists and endured MRI and EEGs to see if I had a tumor or was having seizures. The results? Nothing, nothing was wrong and thankfully the figurative water was not spilling out everywhere...
Senior year of high school is really when my symptoms started to rear their ugly heads. Working my entire life to be involved in the highest academic program in the district while managing cheerleading, band, and a plethora of other organizations and volunteer work, to then graduate in the top twenty students of the class of over 500 and just be done was overwhelming to say the least. Suicidal thoughts, unexplained moments of panic and extremely draining crying sessions, those became normal. In the summer between high school and college, I went to my mom and told her I thought I needed help. She understands now what I was going through to an extent, but at the time, she just told me it was normal to feel this way when being close to going off to college. Fortunately, that did not stop me from getting help. I went to my best friend’s mom, Lillie, and asked her to take me to a psychologist appointment, scrapping money together from birthdays and graduation gifts to pay without submitting insurance. There, the psychologist told me after one session that they thought I had been suffering from anxiety and depression since I was around eight but had been so busy that I became what we now call a person with “high-functioning anxiety” so now that I did not have much to keep me busy, the symptoms were surfacing because my brain had the capacity to play its tricks. With this diagnosis in hand, I went back to my mom and explained. From there, we came up with a plan together to get me the professional help I needed. Twice-a-week therapy sessions in college, combined with medication and the support of my family and friends, helped me work through the struggle, identify triggers, and learn how to cope healthily when experiencing anxiety and depression. Do I still experience triggers and symptoms of anxiety and depression? Absolutely! Nail biting will be a habit I do not see breaking any time soon (maybe I need a growth mindset on that...) but I have the resources, tools, and voice to speak up when I need help and advocate for myself without feeling selfish, stupid, or broken. This includes my support system: my mom (pictured on the left), my best friend who is now my husband Scott (pictured in the middle), and Lillie who is now my mother-in-law (pictured on the right), as well as my other friends and family. I had teachers who cared for me, absolutely, and they taught me so much more than the academic knowledge I took to college and beyond, but they also taught me other skills, now defined as 21st century skills. Occasionally teachers, like Ms. Patak, would check in with me, but there was not much emphasis in the educational system on addressing the non-academic needs. I do not even know who my counselor was in school because my class schedule was pretty much set from 6th grade through 12th. The only time I might have met with them is for scholarship applications and getting a transcript ready to submit in college applications. Now, in light of the pandemic, employing counselors that address academics as well as the social, emotional, and mental needs of students is being prioritized. With this shift in focus, students are being treated more like people and less like factory workers who we get to churn out a specific, monotonous set of tasks. The reason I am in education, my why, also connects to my journey in my mental health. My ePortfolio and blog posts are a continuously evolving exhibits in living museum of me, math, and more. Today, talking about mental health and sharing my journey, is another new addition open for others to explore and experience. What is your journey with mental health? May this be an encouragement for you to share your journey with others so we can all keep healing and growing together.
References
Basic Fun! (2023). K’NEX Ferris Wheel. https://www.basicfun.com/product/knex-thrill-rides-3-in-1-classic-amusement-park-building-set/
Katy Perry. (n.d.). AZQuotes.com. https://www.azquotes.com/quote/436551 Plante, C. (2016, May 5). This Is Fine creator explains the timelessness of his meme. The Verge; The Verge. https://www.theverge.com/2016/5/5/11592622/this-is-fine-meme-comic Sick Science! (2009, March 5). Tornado Tube - Vortex in a Bottle. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dv6vQU94wws
Stumbling upon a Reddit post about New York City and the reputation of being rude, someone clearly articulated why there are people who agree with this stereotype and others simply don't see it. The response was about ask culture versus guess culture. The moment of new perspective and clarity hit me so hard that I have to share it and connect it to my classroom. The following video is a great explanation of the two different cultures.
Personally, I lean more towards ask. Being direct with me eliminates any ambiguity of what you might actually mean and it is not my fault that you did not clearly articulate your needs or desires. The superpower of mindreading is one of the last things I would want, especially if I don't need it when you can just tell me what's on your mind if you feel comfortable to do so. Being direct can also mean actually telling me you aren't comfortable to share. Around certain people, I become a guess because it's my attempt to mirror their style and not be offensive. Now, when in my classroom, I have to consider how my students live with these different perspectives and how our interactions are a result of these cultures. Naturally, like-minded people tend to get along well with each other. It's when an ask person and a guess person start to communicate that trouble could happen. Every year, I start the school year off by sharing with students The Yet Mindset but this has me thinking there could be more this or that perspectives worth exploring and sharing, starting with Ask or Guess. Being aware of your own perspective, other perspectives, and how all of them come across to others really opens up better communication and collaboration between students, building a positive classroom culture. Initially, I thought about simply fostering an ask culture in my classroom because that's what I am comfortable with. We tend to follow confirmation bias, especially as we grow older, so rather than restrict students for my benefit (I am literally rolling my eyes with how selfish I sound by saying that) , embracing both viewpoints is another opportunity to incorporate 21st century skills: communication, collaboration, metacognition, and reflection. We can start Teaching 21st Century Skills in a Blended Learning Environment and really building the whole student while also learning and growing ourselves.
References
Therapy in a Nutshell. (2022). Are You Ask Culture or Guess Culture? This Communication Skill Is Life-Changing. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OXlZUfbsPI
Starting the Applied Digital Learning (ADL) master's program, I assumed it would be a breeze. I would knock out all of the presumed asynchronous work in a few weeks with time to spare until the next round of classes. Almost instantly, it was apparent that I was wrong. Not only because collaboration is part of the grade, but more importantly because it was what I truly craved in seeking higher education. My life motto is "Balls to the Wall" or Not at All, and that's how I started off in my class "Applying Disruptive Innovation". When class started, I immediately posted an introduction and spent time reading about others' lives in theirs. The next day, after our first class meeting and connecting with Amanda Mask and Lindsay Krueger in breakout rooms, I reached out to them to start collaborating. Dr. Harapnuik didn't give any rules/details on how to form collaborative groups and that initially bothered me because it forced me to a place of vulnerability. What if they already had a group? Would I come off as way too eager? What if they find me overbearing? Thankfully though, I noticed they were equally as enthusiastic about posting in discussion boards and replying to others' ideas, so we started meeting weekly, quickly bringing in Hillary Turnage. Also, Samantha Jimenez and Mikeela Pittman joined on occasion. From left to right, top to bottom: Lindsay, Amanda, myself, Samantha, Hillary, and Mikeela in one of our collaborative meetings Through this group, we divided and conquered! Part of our collective plan has been to stay ahead in order to create opportunities to give/receive feedback, as well as reflect on how we are feeling through the process. This has meant a lot of comments left in Word documents, questions asked and feedback provided during our Zoom conversations, and text messages sent. This really helped to build my innovation plan Teaching 21st Century Skills in a Blended Learning Environment into what it is today based on the feedback I received and the revisions I made accordingly.
We have decided to stick together and be each other's motivators to continue the accelerated ADL program as a team. I needed to find others in education who were at a similar place in life so we could be a supportive community to help each other through the thick and thin, especially when we get to taking classes AND TEACHING THEM! Yikes what a thought. Not only did I rely on this smaller group for collaboration and learning, I tried to foster a similar collaborative environment in the discussion boards and class meetings. I read every article and watched every video, usually more than once. My discussion posts and replies did not simply summarize what I read about or saw but rather wrote how the information connected to me. I also attempted to engage others with questioning and replies to their ideas, building on them to consider new perspectives. A way I tracked my progress was collecting quantitative data. Here are some numbers on my contributions:
I attended class meetings, watched the recordings again if needed, and participated in the breakout rooms. When opportunities arose to ask questions or engage in whole class discussion, I generally waited to see what others had to say, then chimed in when a question my small group or breakout room had that others are afraid to ask. Occasionally, I put information in the general chat or individually messaged classmates with ideas or resources that could help support them in their learning. There was often hesitation: What if I come across as a know-it-all? What if people see me as disingenuous? What I have learned so far is that I just need to be me and reflect on how I can continue to grow and be better. If others appreciate that and are drawn to it, great! If others are not, then that's okay too, but I can learn how to better approach those people. Most people want connection but are afraid to step out of their comfort zone, especially with a virtual stranger. Ultimately, when looking at how I contributed to the learning of others and myself, specifically against the key and supporting contributions my professor has defined, I give myself a 49/50. There are always things I can do better, but I set the bar really high for myself from the beginning and I think I've met it and pushed the bar higher. At the beginning of the summer, I set an open personal goal: to read more. I restarted the Harry Potter series as I do every summer and had my queue of recommendations ready to go to expand my horizons outside light-hearted romantic comedies or science fiction/fantasy novels. I had not anticipated that setting this goal would include the tens of thousands of pages I would be reading as part of my masters. My professor co-authored a book about the educational environment that positively impacts student learning called COVA (request free access to the book here): Choice, Ownership, Voice, Authentic Learning. As I reflect on what I have read, it makes more sense for me to consider these ideas as VOCAL. |
My husband lovingly teases me when I reflect on my day with him and say "I learned something new today!" because he would be surprised if I didn't learn something new.
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